What I asked for.....

I keep thinking that this season was brought because this is what i asked for... because sometimes when your a believer it is almost trendy to ask to be the Lord's only. SO that's what I did without fully realizing all that it would encompass.  I spoke without ever looking back and now I am here. With those words almost echoing in my ears, " It trust you with this...., I trust you with that....., Do what you want with this...." But as I am finding I am actually getting what I asked for. When actually what I asked for sometimes seems like a punishment in some respects, I know it's the furthest thing from that. That getting to that place of totally surrender and trust is the best thing and worth the deepest heartbreak and hardest struggle. But I look in great anticipation of what this season will bring. While sometimes everything with in me would rather avoid this than deal with it head on I trust that this season is good to. SO I am saying it again... I trust you with this season, that at times it is unbearably painful but I know that you alone have a purpose and plan beyond the pain and confusion.